i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wish I only lived at night.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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