.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
