Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
