we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
