and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
