Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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