I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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