so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
