no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
