my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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