The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
