Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
