I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
