I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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