omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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