the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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