The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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