So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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