I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
