When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
