just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
