I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
