This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
