I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
