then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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