So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
