have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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