oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
