I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
