She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
