If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
