Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
