just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
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