i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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