Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
please come you make the beer taste better
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
