Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
