Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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