Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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