the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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