just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
