No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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