God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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