In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
