wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize