seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my being single is dangerous.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
