coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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