also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
