I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
