Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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