Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
