Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
