I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
