I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
